How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (and Why)?

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Comparing yourself to others is a waste of your precious time and a huge anxiety trigger, so my dear heart I want to help you to let go of that.

I know it’s easy to get into the habit of comparing yourself to others when all you have to do is click on Facebook or Instagram to see people who have the health you want or the looks you want, or the life you want, or the career you want, or the finances you desire, and so on.

But my dear warrior, I want to let you in on a secret...

***There's not a single person on this planet who has everything and who is free of pain and suffering.***

We all know that we cannot judge a book by its cover, and we also know that everyone will try to show the best part in a snapshot or video.

However, each soul has come to this planet to learn a ton of lessons, and the only way we learn is through challenges, pain, and suffering.

So, I can assure you that every individual you’ve ever thought of as better than you or has more than you in some way, is in fact absolutely equal to you and everyone else.

No one is better or worse than anyone else, we just have a different set of lessons and challenges to learn in life.

You can think of your life journey as a bag full of treats and tricks. Every other person on this planet has also been given a bag like this, and the treats and tricks in each bag are balanced. The only difference between the bags (life journeys) is the type of treats and tricks. 

So, one person might be given unlimited finances, and a great body as their treats, but in their bag, there are tricks that will balance these out.

You have been given anxiety, for example, as one of your tricks, but there are amazing treats in your bag to balance this out.

And so, even if you now imagine a person that you’ve always perceived as 'perfect', I can assure you that this person has their own challenges, pain, and suffering.

For example, think about some famous people, like Jonny Depp. To millions this guy has for years appeared to have everything, including looks, money, fame, popularity, success, social life, lavish holidays, beautiful children, hot girlfriends, and so on.

But if you’ve seen any of the recent videos of the court case with his ex-wife Amber Heard, you will have seen that he is a man that has suffered all his life, and is still suffering today. The acting is just a job. He has his own challenges that he is battling every day.

The reason I want you to know that others are in pain also is because I want you to bring back focus on yourself.

You are an amazing human being, who has been given your own unique set of "treats and tricks," which are in balance I promise, and it is up to you to make the most of this journey on earth.

So, return your focus on you by following the following steps...

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others?

1. Compare yourself today to yourself yesterday

The best way to stop comparing yourself to others is to start comparing yourself today to yourself yesterday. The moment you remove everyone else from the equation and focus on YOUR own progress, you'll see just how well you're doing.

2. Raise Your Awareness

Most often when we compare ourselves to others we don't even realise that we're doing it. 

Raise your awareness, by setting the following intention each morning

I set the intention to see clearly each time I compare myself to others.”

Over time you'll find it easier to catch yourself doing it. 

3. Catch Yourself in Action and Pause

The next time you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, pause and take a deep breath. 

Then say the following affirmation, “I am unique and I have all the qualities I need to complete my mission in life”.

3. Acknowledge Your Strengths

When you focus on the strengths of others you begin to see how amazing they are. So, do the same for yourself. Begin to focus on your own strengths to see how amazing you are.

Regularly make lists of your strengths and write next to each one a few lines about how you're using each strength to make progress. 

Also, affirm “I am aware of my strengths and I continually use them for personal growth.”

4. Focus on Your Unique Journey

You and every other soul on this planet are on a unique journey and each journey is equally important for the progress of the planet. 

So, rather than idolising someone, keep reminding yourself that someone else's life is not better or more important than yours. It is simply different.

That’s why it’s time to focus on your own journey.

To help you do that, affirm regularly, “I choose to focus on my own unique journey.”

5. Express Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a great way to acknowledge yourself, your life and your qualities. 

It’s also a good technique to help you focus on the good parts of your life.

You can practice gratitude by keeping a journal and writing down all the things that you are thankful for.

Also, affirm, “I find something to be grateful for everyday.”

6. Love and Accept Yourself

When you start to love and accept yourself for who you are, you’ll no longer have the need to compare yourself to others. That’s because self-acceptance is also self-love.

Start affirming daily “I love and accept myself.”

7. Detox from Social Media 

Detox from social media regularly as checking out FB and IG profiles can trigger constant comparisons.

You are doing great, my dear heart, so please keep going.

Love always

Your heart-based coach

Sandra Glavan


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I'm a Heart-Based Life Coach for Gentle Anxiety Sufferers. After two decades of chronic anxiety and self-hate, I managed to conquer both, and experience a huge spiritual transformation in the process. This incredible journey inspired me to pursue my dreams and help other gentle anxiety sufferers. I’m not a mental health professional, but I’m someone who has studied intensively about anxiety and achieved success with everything I learned. If you’re a gentle soul who is struggling with anxiety and would like my help, I’d love to coach you. Check out my free and paid coaching services.

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  1. Pingback: Top 3 Tips to Help You with Social Media Anxiety - Amosuir

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